when I finally accepted not seeing the whole picture

One of the hardest things for me to trust God or anyone with, is my future. Wow-I have already got something wrong to point out within the first sentence-"my future"-it isn't mine. I feel like I have it all lined up in my mind what I want...even down to little details, which are guaranteed to change.

I stay awake for hours some nights worrying about something that 

1. Is not even mine to worry about (my life belongs to God and I am here to further his kingdom), and 
2. Is taken care of, completely!! I read verse after verse that reminds me that God only wants good things for my life and that he has it all under control...

I want to know-Where I will go to college? Why does my hair always act up on the right side? When I will find my husband? Heck, will I even get married? What kind of career will I pursue and will it be the right one for me? What does he/she really think about me? Will I still ride horses when I get older and have a nice barn, horses and trailer? Or will my life go in a totally different direction? Will I have kids and if so, what kind of mom will I be? Will I have a house like I dream of? And trust me, the list goes on and on. 

But before I get to digging deep, someone I hold very dear to my heart recently told me something that simply answers every worry I have listed above. She said, "sometimes life happens and you just have to deal with it and it makes you realize what really matters." So no, I am not saying that your career, your love life, your financial standings and your activities don't matter but I am saying that if you are constantly worrying about your future, you are creating a messy one and depriving yourself of the gift of now!!! A couple of weeks ago, I was upset over something petty and it was putting a damper on my day with my friends. In that moment, I had the decision to either 1-let it ruin my day with my friends that I would never get back, or 2-put it aside and deal with it later. I chose wisely and put it aside and actually never  even had to think about it again because the problem worked itself out! 

So now, for the scenarios that aren't that simple...

The question remains: How can I claim to be a Christian and read verses like these and still not trust God with my future... 

• Jeremiah 29:11..."I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord. "They are good plans and not to harm you or result in disaster. They are to give you hope and a future." 
• Matthew 11:29..."...I am gentle and humble in heart and in me, you will find rest."
• Philippians 4:19...And this same God who takes care of me (Jesus) will supply all your needs from his glorious riches.
• Proverbs 19:21...Many are the plans of man but the Lord's plans will prevail. 
• Matthew 6:34..."Don't be anxious about tomorrow, there is enough waiting there already. Today is enough trouble of it's own".  

 The answer: I focus too much on the 5x7 picture that I can see.  I need to look at life through that 5x7 view but I don't need to get stuck in believing that's all it will ever be. In my little view of my life, I can see my past failures and regrets, my current anxiety, and the image I have of how my future will play out whether that be positive or negative. The truth is, focusing on all of that will definitely put me in a crippled spiritual state and make me not want to trust anyone with anything. Any time I measure my obstacles against the size of my own strength to overcome them, I will be defeated before the battle even begins.BUT, if I view my obstacles standing beside God, and really believe in his power, my whole outlook will change because having confidence in God changes everything because I am then able to see value in ever endeavor. God did not create us to be held captive of our fears, ever! 

For the visual learners, here is something that I was told years ago that I will never forget. 

In life, we are going to worry. It is human nature and it is inevitable. One of the things we can do to train ourselves to not worry is to understand that our live looks messy, broken, misplaced, or paused because we can only see a 5x7 view of it. BUT BUT BUT....God reminds us to not fret, not because He doesn't want to hear us complain, but because he can see the whole 8x10 of our lives! He can see how our future will play out, who we will marry and what job we will have, and on top of it all, he is in total control of it. 

Here is what we can see of our lives

                      

And this is what God sees.

Challenge: Look at your life through the 5x7 view and believe God has plans for more. Don'y turn back to yesterday's mistakes and don't turn to tomorrow's worries-just focus on today. Now is the only guaranteed time you have and if you waste it, you will totally regret it. Love on the ones you have today and pray they will be there to do the same with tomorrow. God only lets us see the 5x7 view because he knew that was all we would be able to handle and he has told us that he will not give us more than we can handle. Rest in that peace and accept not seeing the whole picture.

stay humble, stay happy.
xoxo, kins